Never Forget
by Mirabilem Electo
Summary: Set after the 74th Hunger Games, something happens to Katniss that will change her forever. But as things are righted, her life gets a lot more complicated.
1. Captive Bodies

**Never Forget**

**Chapter 1- Captive Bodies**

I woke up panting, staring at the white room around me. The last thing I remember was passing out in the arena, or maybe in the hovercraft? I am just so confused. And Peeta. Where was he? I frantically looked around at my surroundings. The walls were pure white with white sheets and a white pillow. There was a white lighting fixture with it giving off a white glow. Everything in here was white! It was just so aggravating as you looked around seeing nothing but white. Like a mental patient's room. No way to enter or exit. Or was there?

I looked over to one of the walls. There must have been some way to get me in here, I mean how was I in here? Did they just build a room around me while I was passed out? That couldn't have happened. Definitely.

I finally worked up enough strength to lift myself out if my bed and to the wall. There must be a way out. How else could they have changed my clothing and IV's. As I walked against the wall I started to worry again. What have they done with Peeta? Is he locked up too? Do I need to rescue him? Where is Haymitch? Is he out drunk somewhere because he can't find us? Ok. Stop with the negative thoughts. I will find a way out of here, no matter what. There is no way I can let Peeta be locked up like I am in a barren, sterile room. He will start to- wait. What was that? I slowly backed up to what I felt while worrying about everything. A crease in the wall. I looked closer and saw a hairline crack going down the wall. I looked up and saw it go all the way around the wall and form a door. I immediately forgot about me being stuck in here or Peeta dying while at the Capital. Because I was going to rescue him.

* * *

><p>I looked at the smashed door behind me and rubbed my arm. I suppose I didn't have to smash down the door but it was more fun. I mean I was stuck in the room for at least, what a few days to a week? That was entirely possible considering I don't remember getting into that room. It was also entirely possible is was my birthday, May 8th. It was still all confusing.<p>

I traveled down the hallway looking for Peeta's room. I passed the first door and looked in. Nothing interesting- just an empty room exactly like mine. I walked down a few more feet and opened another door. Just another room.

I sighed. They were going to find me soon and I had to find Peeta and get out if there. Or even somewhere to hide would be nice. But if anyone were to look into any of these room they would easily see me. There was nothing to hide behind and I would stick out like a sore thumb if I tried to.

There were four more doors left in that hallway. If Peeta wasn't there then I'd have to go all the way back and start searching the other half of the hallway, which by then I will be caught. So he has to be here.

The first door was another copy-cat room, but this time it looked like someone had gotten rid of everything they ate in the past week all over the room. I felt no need to go in there at all. The next room there was a table and a few chairs around it, most likely a conference room. The third room was when I knew every thing was going wrong. I started walking in and immediately stopped again. I heard Prim crying my name over and over again on the other side of the room but couldn't see anything. I tried to rush over but was pushed down by something. As I got closer to get a better look I noticed something familiar about the atmosphere. Like somewhere in 12. Then it hit me.

"The forest," I whispered aloud. Prim then jolted me out of my trance. If I was in the woods then- Prim. When was the only time she went into the forest? Never alone, it always scared her to death. So why would she be there now? Surly my mother would have gone, she always does. that must mean it's not Prim. Unless the Capital took her captive and dumped her in this forest. So it could- I was startled again by, this time, an animate being, a bird. As the bird past by I noticed something familiar about it. It looked like a Mockingjay. So then Prim wasn't Prim. It was a Jabberjay.

I ran out of that room as fast as I could. I couldn't bear listening to Prim's voice anymore. I was down to the last door before they find me so I couldn't waste all my time in there. I still had to find Peeta.

I slowly came upon the final door. He had better be in here. If he wasn't then I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I slowly opened the door afraid of what I was going to see. When the door was all of the way open I just stood there staring. In front of me was some large computer contraption. Instead of walking away in dismay I slowly approached the mechanism. I was going to die. After all, curiosity killed the cat. _If only…_ I thought, thinking of Buttercup.

* * *

><p>I started worrying, this machine was making all these noises with parts flying around. All I did was press some big button. I guess I shouldn't have done that. All of a sudden a white light started coming out of the machine. I ran toward the door and tried to open the door. I turned the knob and slammed the door trying to open it. It wasn't opening, I pushed harder. The light came closer to me. I gave the door one last shove but it didn't budge. The white light came up and enveloped around me. The light blinded me but I could tell I wasn't in the same place anymore.<p>

* * *

><p>I slowly opened my eyes to what seemed like another normal day.<p>

"Good morning Prim" I whispered hearing what sounded like her feet a few yards away. When my grogginess finally cleared away I noticed something different about where I was. I wasn't in my house in the Seam but I was in District 12. I looked below me.

"The meadow," I whispered to myself.

"Yea, we're in the meadow. But who're you?" I looked up to see a dark hair, grey eye guy around my age standing above me. He looked familiar, but I couldn't quite place him. He sort of reminded me of Gale but with a different attitude. It was more laid back with not much care for anything.

"So, who are you?" the guy said again, a little more forceful this time.

"I'm, um… my name is Katni- Catnip Evergreen," I replied with my voice a little shaky. I decided against using my real name because he obviously didn't recognize me.

"So why are you here?" Ugh, this guy keeps pestering me with questions so I'll never figure this out myself.

"I live here," I figure that is my best answer not knowing who this is.

"Don't lie to me, I know everyone around our age. You definitely are not one of them. You are just to good looking for me to forget," he told me with a wink. I could feel my cheeks flush as he said this while I was internally swearing. _No need to flirt with some random guy while you have no idea who he is and why you're there! _I told myself.

"Oh, um, I was pretty sure I did live here, this is District 11 right?" I asked covering up my mistake. I remember Rue telling me about 11 and was certain this guy wouldn't know what it actually looks like.

"Wow, now that must be pretty far away, you're in District 12, sweet cheeks" the guy told me. _Good, he believes me. _I released the breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Yes, now I remember. I ran away hanging onto my life and after a few days I came up to a stream and cleaned myself off and passed out right here," I explained hoping he would buy my explanation. The expression in his face the few seconds after made me believe I did convince him. He then stared down at me with a curious expression on his face.

"So you have no where to stay right? Why don't you come home with me?" He must have seen my shocked face because he then picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. He probably didn't expect me to fight back considering I appeared like a weak and helpless girl not that many minutes ago. Well then this guy was wrong. I stopes flailing about so he would relax his grip on me. Once he did I kneed him in the stomach causing him to drop me. I quickly got to my feet and giggled, very uncharacteristic of me, at the sight of him kneeled over in pain. _He really does remind me of someone, who I would enjoy seeing in pain_. I racked my memory for someone who looked remotely similar and I would like seeing in pain but I couldn't think of anyone.

"You didn't have to do that you know. It wasn't like I was kidnapping you or something," the mystery man said.

"I know, but it was fun. And there was no need to carry me, I can take care if myself you know. And I'm quite accomplished with a bow and arrow," I added with a quick smirk on my face. He just stared at me in shock, and I'm pretty sure he almost ran away. Then he saw my smirk and retaliated back.

"Of coarse not my darling, I will let you walk the next mile and a half all by yourself" he said, with extreme sarcasm.

"Thank you" I replied and turned to start walking but not before I saw him flash a genuine smile that made my heart flutter. "So what is your name?" I asked suddenly realizing I had no idea what to call the guy that has just made his way to my heart. I was expecting nothing special, just some normal name that would fit his personality perfectly. But no, it had to be a shocker, because nothing in my life is normal.

"Oh, my name? It's Haymitch Abernathy."

**A/N- ISABELLE IT'S UP! Isabelle is my muse for Katniss, a helper of the creation of the story. Ok, I'm good. This is my first fan fiction so I would love to hear your thoughts. Ok. **


	2. Never Safe

**Never Forget**

**Chapter 2- Never Safe**

"Come on Catnip, you need to get up," I heard Haymitch say over me. Ugh, why couldn't this guy just leave me alone.

"I'll get up after you stop drinking, why don't you go wake up Peeta instead? I'm still tired. Can't a victor get some sleep around here?" I mumbled in reply. Why would he have come into my room anyway? Couldn't have Effie come and woke me up instead?

"Um, who's Peeta? Did you hit you head on a rock or something when you fell, because I don't drink," Was he overly drunk now? Of course he drinks, there was no time that I remember when he didn't, except when he was helping me and Peeta win the Games.

"How do you not know who Peeta is? You know my district partner, Peeta Mellark?" I then rolled over and pushed myself up while opening my eyes. I saw grass and flowers everywhere, not a luxury train. I then looked up and saw the younger Haymitch while everything from the past hour came back to me. I started panicking that I screwed something up, big time.

"Mellark? Isn't that Clutha's last name? Why would you know who he is if your from District 11?" Haymitch asked confused. Oh great. Now how am I going to get out of _this_ one? I could say I saw it in a dream. It might actually work considering I was talking about the games. Then I could… well it might just work.

"Well there is this guy in District 11 whose name is Peeta Mellark. The other night I had a dream that we were reaped into the Hunger Games and I had this drunk mentor who constantly annoyed me," I told him once again hoping it would do. I wasn't sure if it was actually believable but Haymitch did seem a little gullible right now.

"Okay, but if you ever want to talk about it some more, I'm here," he replied softly. I couldn't believe that, the uncoordinated, drunk, aggressive man I knew from my past is now a soft, caring, _loving_, guy that I, possibly, could be falling for. He helped me back up and we started walking back to wherever he lived.

* * *

><p>As we walked, Haymitch pointed out some landmarks in 12, that I already knew of obviouly, like the school, mayor's office, and the Hob. We quickly arrived at his home and I looked around. It looked familiar, but not that familiar that I would know why I knew this house.<p>

"Hey mom," I heard Haymitch say passively. Oh great, how is he going to explain me to his parents?

"Hello son, who is this?" asked his mother coming out of what looked like the kitchen.

"Oh, well this is Catnip Evergreen. I found her in the meadow this morning looking horrible, not externally but I could tell she was internally. She's from District 11 and needs somewhere to stay. So can she stay here?" he asked sweetly. At first it looked as if she was going to protest and kick me out but then she must have thought better of it.

"I guess she can stay. But you need to split your food share and you, miss, need to take care of yourself. I have my own things I need to be doing, not taking care of you like some pet. Are we clear?" I gulped. This woman, Haymitch's mom, was definitely a strict, no-nonsense person. Maybe hunting a little and bringing food here would help her like me more. But first I had to wait until she and Haymitch were out so I could escape to the woods.

"Thank you ma'am for letting me stay here. It's so much better than sleeping on rocks and dirt," I thanked her. Her face softened a little when I told her I slept on the ground, which was a little true, having slept in trees and on the ground during the Games. Although for the past- however long it was, I was being pampered, unconsciously, by the Capitol. But no one needs to know that.

I walked around the house to acquaint, well reacquaint, myself with the house. I knew where all of the rooms were and the way they were set up. But yet again I had another lapse in memory. It was a pretty small house, with two bedrooms, a bathroom, the kitchen and a family room. The entire house was one floor but it was cozy.

"Hey Catnip, come here. I'm gonna show you were you'll be sleeping," Haymitch grabbed my arm and dragged me into the smaller of the two bedrooms. He pointed to a mattress on the floor. "There is where you will be sleeping. It's pretty good considering some families have to share beds," _Like me and Prim, _I thought to myself. Prim, now all alone taking care of my mother. I couldn't just leave her there, to support her and mother, but I had no way of getting back. I could feel tears coming to my eyes thinking about them, thinking about home, _and Gale, Peeta_. Now I felt the tears rolling down my eyes as I fell to the ground. I vaguely felt a pair of arms wrap around me. I started to cry even harder when I then heard his voice.

"Shh, it's okay Catnip, you're safe with me," I heard Haymitch whisper into my ear. No, I'm not. I'm never safe, no matter where I am, _when_ I am. There will always be the Capital, the Hunger Games, to remind us all of all the horrors in the world, the death of young kids like Rue. Turning normal teenagers into savage, bloodthirsty, beasts.

"Please, stop crying. It's okay, no need to cry. I've got you," Haymitch continued whispering to me. I started to feel safe. Secure, in his arms. I guess I am safe, for now.

**A/N- Short chapter, I know, but I wanted to get it out. As I'm on vacation in Ohio, I had some time to type. It was going to be A LOT longer but I didn't want to wait any longer. Also sorry that it's pretty bad. And Happy Birthday TacoBelle! And Review! Please, it gives me inspiration :)**


	3. Old Ways

**Never Forget  
><strong>**Chapter 3- Old Ways**

After that last incident I was okay, well if stuck 25 years in the past, falling in love with your younger dunk mentor, okay. Life continued as normal, well sort of I guess. I don't know how he did it or what he said, but Haymitch got me into school. It was normal, like it was before I got reaped. The town kids socializing with each other on one side of the room while the Seam kids sat away from each other not wanting to talk with anyone. Across the room some of the town girls were flirting with Haymitch, I felt a clenching in my chest but something else distracted me. Among the townies I saw someone familiar. It looked like Prim but not exactly. _It was my mother, _I realized with sudden shock. Next to her there were two other similar looking girls. I felt like I knew them but I wasn't quite sure. Ugh. Another memory block. I looked closer at the girl on the right when I realized who the two girls reminded me of. Madge. I quickly looked around on this side of the classroom. Not that far away I saw him standing there with another guy with his back to me. I was going to walk up to him when, just then, the bell rang and the teacher walked into the room. Perfect timing.

* * *

><p>After school I went home, well Haymitch's house, alone. Haymitch stayed behind at school because of a little incident in the boys bathroom. When I got back to the house Mrs. Abernathy wasn't home yet. That is when I realized I had no idea where Haymitch's dad was, or what happened to him considering I never heard them talk about him. Oh well, I'll ask Haymitch about it later… but for now I can finally get some alone time to think.<p>

After dumping my bag a books from school I quickly made my way over to the fence. Not as poorly looking as it was, well is, 25 years from now, but it was still pretty bad. I quickly scaled the fence and was on the other side. I started walking and breathed in the familiar air. Walking aimlessly around I ended up at my old meeting spot with Gale. I stepped over to where I hid my bow and arrows. When I reached down I expected to feel the familiar curves of my bow but I only felt, emptiness. _Damn_, I thought, _why would I think it be here in the first place? Well I guess I could try to snare some squirrels. _Deep in thought I stood up and started walking deeper into the woods. I didn't realize anyone else until they were standing in front of me.

"Hey! Who are you? What are you doing here?" The one guy said. I noticed something familiar about him but then I realized that everyone here will remind me of someone. There were two of them, one with a bow and some arrows, the other with some snares with some squirrels hanging from them. I looked closer at the guy with the bow and arrows and saw something familiar in him. _Why can I never realize who these familiar people are before they tell me their names? _I pondered.

"Jakxon! That's that new girl in our class! Sorry 'bout Jakxon, he gets jumpy while we're hunting. Hey are you okay?" The other guy asked seeing me daze off. Then, once again, the identity of the person hit me. My father. Well now this wasn't surprising considering this happened twice before. I snapped my attention back up to him, taking in his familiar features after not seeing him for 5 years.

"Umm, yea, sorry. You just surprised me I guess. I'm Katn- Catnip Evergreen," I whispered the last part. This reminded me exactly of my first personal meeting with Gale, talking to each other in the middle of the woods.

"Hey, Cat-cat right? I'm Darion Everdeen. We were just wondering what you were doing in the middle of the woods, you startled us from hunting," my dad told me. Oh great, now another person got my name wrong, and it was _my dad_. But I guess that's okay for now.

"Oh, well I felt like escaping from town, I needed to be somewhere familiar. I used to hunt in District 11, but I don't have anything to use so I just started to walk around," I shrugged. Maybe they have an extra bow and some arrows I could use…

"Really? You hunt? That is so awesome! I have an extra bow I made that you could use, that is if you hunt with us. Fair deal? I'd like to see how good you are," he replied. I was right, he did have an extra bow. My dad always did telling me- _You never know when you're going to need it._ I guess he needed it now.

"For a girl," I heard Jakxon whisper to my dad. I'll show him.

"Thanks Da- Darion. I'll hunt with you. Let's have a little competition, who can get the most amount of kills in two hours," I challenged them smirking. I knew I could easily beat Jakxon but I wasn't sure about my dad. I guess I'll see.

"Okay, time starts after I give you my extra bow. We'll meet back up in the clearing near the fence after the two hours. Come on!" he yelled at me and Jakxon, as we were just standing there watching him walk away. I quickly jogged up to him as we made our way to where his extra bow was.

Two hours later I made my way back to the clearing. I was the first to arrive back, so I laid out my haul. I got four squirrels, easy enough, and four rabbits. They were easy catches but I also managed to find two wild turkeys. I thought it was pretty good and as I was making my way back to the clearing a pheasant crossed my path. I easily shot it cleanly and continued on my way back.

"Hey Cat- cat, Whacha get? I mean your back so early you couldn't have gotten anything good, and also cause you're a girl and all," I heard Jakxon come up from behind me. Oh great, now I'm alone with this prejudice pig. Well at least I can change his mind set about me.

"I'll show you later, what'd you get?" I asked, trying to encourage his thoughts at the moment. A sly grin creped up onto his face.

"Oh, I got six squirrels, two rabbits, and this wild turkey. A large haul if you ask me," He told me beaming like a six year-old on his birthday. Ah, now it's my time to shine.

"Nice. I didn't get anything big," I started, "I just got these four squirrels, four rabbits, and these two turkeys. Oh, and this pheasant," holding the pheasant up. His jaw dropped at the sight of the plump bird I was holding up.

"Whoa, that's impressive. I've never even caught a pheasant before," he glared. Ha, now I'm even more proud of myself, showing this arrogant kid how good I am.

"Hey guys! Did you get a good haul today Jax?" My dad yelled at us from across the clearing.

"Hey Dar, I got a normal catch today, but you should see what Cat-cat caught," Jakxon said pointing to me. I just shrugged and held up the pheasant. I smirked when I saw his eyes widen.

"Yea, I shot a pheasant. And some other animals. What'd you get?"

"Eh, just a few squirrels, rabbits, turkeys. The usual," my dad replied. We gathered up our things and climbed over the fence. "Hey, do you want to hunt with us on Friday? That is the next time both of us are free,"

"Sure, see you Friday!" _Dad_, I whispered to myself. I made my way back to Haymitch's house, almost sure Mrs. Abernathy would love the meat I'm bringing back. The house was approaching but all of the windows were dark. Strange, I thought, I expected at least Mrs. Abernathy to be home by now. I made it to the door, opened it and walked inside. I placed the haul on the kitchen counter and walked into the family room. I drew weary when I saw what was there. On the ground lie Mrs. Abernathy with a pool of blood surrounding her.

**A/N- So I have finally updated! Just a few things. 1) Take the quiz on my profile. It will help me conclude the plot for the story. 2) Should I write in other's POV? 3) Can any of you give me something to work on with the story? I'm having trouble trying to improve my writing. Thank you people :) Please reveiw, PM, or email me (my email is on my profile) to awnser the questions. Thank you once again, especially to TacoBelle!**


	4. Always Remember

**Chapter 4**

**Always Remember**

My mind froze as I stared down at Mrs. Abernathy's pale body. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do so I continued staring in shock. I stayed there for a few moments until I heard the door open and close behind me. Finally able to move, I turned around and walked into the kit hen to where Haymitch was dropping off his school bags. He smiled when he saw me but that instantly turned to worry and anger when he saw my grim expression.

"Did someone hurt you?" He asked accusingly. "If they did then I swear I'll break their neck and-"

"Haymitch," I whispered. But not loud enough, as he continued ranting on.

"I swear if it was Jakxon Hawthorne, I saw the looks he was giving you in class today, I will personally go over to his hou-"

"WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!" I burst at him, not being able to withstand the pressure that was building inside of me. "Come with me," I whispered quietly not wanting to cause any questions from the neighbors. I started to walk into the living room and thankfully Haymitch followed me without any more questions. I was standing where I stood before and stepped aside so Haymitch could see. I could hear him gasp behind him when he ran over to his mother. First he checked for a pulse, something I completely neglected to do from being in shock. After not being able to find one he scooped his mother into his arms and completely and unexpectedly, began to cry. He just sat there and cried with his mother limply in his arms soaked in blood. Hesitantly I walked over and sat next to Haymitch. I wasn't sure he noticed me there at all until he started speaking.

"W-when I was 9 years old my f-father was at work in the coal mines. He finished m-mining for the day and was loading up the coal to go to the Capitol. He was a-almost finished when the t-train started moving backwards. They s-say it was a brake malfunction but it h-hit my dad before they could s-stop the train. He was t-taken to a healer b-but they couldn't save him. My m-mother and I, we were extremely devastated but we were a-able to continue on because we had e-each other. That one thought brought me through the time, my m-mom. She needed me as much as I needed her.

"Now, there is n-no one left for me to care for. My parents are g-gone and I don't have any true friends. I might just c-curl up in my sock drawer and die, I have nothing left to live for."

The last words he said echoed in my head 'I have nothing left to live for'. Looking over at him I could see that he was giving up. Haymitch was slumped over with his head on my shoulder. There was a pale sheen to his skin as well, making him look like he was eternally. The worst part about him was his eyes. There was no sight of life returning in them. The charcoal grey eyes that were once filed with life and humor are now empty and lifeless. I stared at them longing for life to return. And so, before I realized what I was doing, I leaned over and kissed him.

**A/N- Very short, I know. Just wanted to get this out. Also- I have sirius writers block right now, so please give me suggestions for what Katmitch should do. Ok, please review. Thank youuuu...**


	5. Slight Disagreements

**Never Forget**

**Chapter 5- Slight Disagreements**

****_Overview of the past 4 chapters:_

_Katniss woke up in a building in the Capital after her first games. Determined to find Peeta, she escaped and stumbled (accidently) upon a time machine. She was sent into the past to District 12 and Haymitch finds her. She meets her and Gale's father in the woods and hunts with them. Then she comes back to Haymitch's mother dead. Then Haymitch comes back and they comfort each other._

Sunlight streamed through the window as I opened my eyes. I turned over to see Haymitch sleeping next to me as he has the past five nights. It first started the night his mom died and he couldn't go to sleep. I noticed he wasn't sleeping and went to lie down next to him and soon enough he was asleep. I continued to lie there each night; he didn't seem to mind at all.

We were both skipping school as well. I hated it anyway; it's not as if I'm ever going to use the knowledge anyway. He was too distraught to do anything in school. So we just sat on the bed and talked. I cooked the meat that I got when I went hunting so we would stay alive and wouldn't starve to death. Days went by but we still haven't gone out of the house since then.

"Hey. Catnip…I was wondering…" I heard Haymitch mumble next to me. I looked over to see if he was awake but I wasn't sure. "I was wondering if…" his voice kept trailing off. "Well you see the thing is…"

"Pssst. Haymitch." I called to him after he quieted down again. No response.

"Haymitch," I said a little louder, this time poking him as well.

"Wha'd you want?" He slurred and turned over, trying to ignore me.

"Come on! It's late. We need to do stuff today!" I shouted at him trying to arise him out of bed. It didn't work and he continued to just lie there like a sack of logs. Giving up waking him up peacefully I slid out of the bed and walked outside. Getting a bucket of water, I went back into the room and threw the water on top of him.

"AHH!" Haymitch screeched like a girl, "Okay! I'm up!" He scrambled out of the bed soaking wet while I stood there in hysterics.

"Your face… when the water… it was… priceless…" I gasped in-between fits of laughter. Haymitch just stood there and glared at me. "Well you needed to take a bath anyway."

…

After Haymitch got dried up and cleaned himself off we sat around again. We talked, did some stuff, and passed the time somehow. I was cleaning up after we had some lunch, and ate the last of the meat I got from the other day when there was a knocking at the door.

"I'll get it," I called to Haymitch. I walked over to the door and slowly opened it, hoping it wasn't someone to see why we weren't coming to school.

"Hey Catcat!" an over excited voice called out. I looked over and saw Darion widely grinning and Jakxon awkwardly standing behind him.

"Oh, hey guys. What are you doing here?"

"Well it's Friday and we were wondering if you wanted to come hunting with us again even though you weren't at school." Hunting. I completely forgot about out deal to go hunting together on Friday.

"Er… sure, I guess. I'll be right back," I told them as I went back into the house to tell Haymitch. "Hey Haymitch, I'm going with Darion and Jakxon."

"What? You're going with _him_? That… that… idiot? You can't! He's such a prat! You are NOT going with him!" He shouted at me.

"Well you know what! I don't care what you think! I am going whether you like it or not. You don't dictate what I do!" I retaliated. Haymitch got a glare in his eye and stood up. He stalked over to me and stood there glaring at me.

"You. Will. Listen. To. Me." Haymitch said. I took a step backwards when he grabbed my wrist. Now I'm not one to panic but this, in a way, was serious. Whenever someone grabbed your wrist it wasn't a good sign. So I tried to run. But of course I couldn't, he was stronger.

"Haymitch let g-" I crumpled to the ground before I could finish. My face stung as I stood up again. I stared at him in disbelief as I felt my face going red. Haymitch snickered at me as I glared at him. He crumpled to the ground in all out laughter and I could feel my anger rising up. Turning away I thought I'd be able to get out of there without exploding. Well I was wrong.

"Just gonna walk out honey?" taunted Haymitch getting up, finally calming down. That was it. I turned around and, in a rhetorical sense, exploded. Half the time I didn't know what I was doing, I was jumping on him and just attacking him. After a few minutes I started to realize what I was doing and stopped. At first I thought I was happy but I was suddenly shocked and felt something pricking at my eyes.

After moving the unconscious Haymitch to the bed I walked outside to meet the waiting boys.

"So Catcat, what took ya so long?" Jakxon questioned, now looking more comfortable.

"Nothing much, just had to talk to Haymitch about something," rolling my eyes in disgust as he put his arm around me.

"Well it seems to me that you two were doing a little more than yelling."

"It's none of your business!" I huffed agitatedly, going back to talk to Dad, er- Darius. It still felt awkward to call my dad by his first name.

"Hey Catnip,"

"Hey Darius, sorry it took me so long, I just had to discuss something with Haymitch,"

"It's okay, we'll get you home before dark," he said with a wink, strolling off to the fence.

**A/N- Okay, I know that was awful. So a few things- 1. I need a beta-reader. 2. Because of the few reviews I got it took me until now to post this. 3. I have no idea what is going to happen after this arc of 2-3ish chapters. So if anyone has any suggestions at all feel free to tell me. Thank you so much- especially if you review!**


	6. Moving Past

**Never Forget**

**Chapter 6-Moving Past**

I listened to the familiar sounds of the woods around me. It felt so peaceful, comforting, compared with what I just went through. The entire situation seemed so blurred; I needed to be on my own. Once Darius, Jakxon and I got to the woods we agreed to split up again. I was thankful to Darius for that. Jakxon was still trying to figure out what had happened back in Haymitch's house.

I was pulled out of my train of thought when I heard rustling in the bushes in front of me. I clutched Darius' spare bow in my hand as I slowly approached the moving bush. A squirrel popped out and I stumbled, causing it to run away. I cursed at myself for being clumsy and walked to find another unlucky animal.

Another image was brought to my head, the night after Haymitch's mom died. _We were just sitting there. He was sitting there blankly. No expression on his face, no life in his eyes, no sound in his voice. I just sat there confused, sad, and disappointed, not in him, but in me. I hadn't done anything to help him; in fact I being there was probably worse. I was the cause of his mom's death, I knew it. And he knew it too._

Another rustle of the bushes brought me out of the daydream again. I steadied my bow realizing that my hands were shaking. The creature came closer and I realized it wasn't an animal, it was a person.

"Hello?" I called out cautiously. I've never met anyone except Gale and those two runaways in these woods.

"Oh, it's you Catcat. Don't shoot me!" Darius' voice cried out, eyeing the bow I was pointing at him.

"Sorry, I didn't realize it was you" I responded, lowering the bow I held in my hand.

"Have you got anything yet? I'm having horrible luck today, can't find anything."

"Me too, can't find anything today," I lied through my teeth knowing it was just because I was just too clumsy today and ended up scaring everything away.

"Catcat, are you okay?" Darius questioned.

"Of course I'm okay, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well this morning I couldn't help but notice that you and Haymitch were fighting. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Of course I'm bloody sure! I wouldn't have said so if I wasn't. So can you please stop asking?" I lashed out at him. He just looked at me and nodded him head, silently agreeing not to talk about it anymore.

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><p>A while later we finally heard another animal approaching. Darius nodded to me, he was going to take the kill. He crept up as a squirrel came out of the bushes. He drew back and fired, hitting the squirrel right in the head. Blood was coming out, settling in on the dirt floor below it. I stepped back as pictures of Haymitch's mom came into my mind. The blood, lots of blood, all surrounding her. I was useless, I could have saved her. It's all my fault that she's dead, all MY fault. I fell down in realization that it is my fault that Haymitch's mom is dead, and now Haymitch hates me too.<p>

I opened my eyes, realizing at some point I must have closed them and fallen down. Darius was looking at me with worry in his eyes. He saw me looking up at him and offered a hand to help me up. I nodded my head no and just continued to sit there. Darius realized I wasn't to get up anytime soon and sat down next to me.

"Now I know you're not fine. Can you please tell me what happened?" he pleaded with me. I looked into his worryful eyes and felt a pang of guilt in my chest. How could I not tell my father, even if it was a younger version of him?

"Ummm… well… the day we met hunting… I went back to the house…and she was just… just l-lying there… covered in blood… and it was all m-my fault… all my fault… she died… all because of me… but now Haymitch hates me… because it's my fault…and there's no denying it anymore… I know it's my fault… I don't even belong here… nowhere near here… and it's still all familiar… I can't help it… I knew him too… and there are feelings which I know I don't deserve either… I deserve no one… I couldn't save Rue… I couldn't find Peeta… everything is all my fault," I babbled on, not really thinking about what I was saying. I stopped realizing I started talking a bit too much, about things that haven't happened yet. I stopped and my face reddened, embarrassed that Darius was listening to me drone on and on.

"It's okay Catcat," he spoke quietly today. I glanced at him and I couldn't help it anymore, tears started rolling down my face. The first tears since _he_ died. Warm arms wrapped around me as I just cried everything out. _Why did I have to be sent back to a time where I knew everyone? Why me? _I cried out in my mind. It could have been any other time period and I would have been okay, emotionally stable. Feelings wouldn't have hurt me. I could have just been an outcast faced with the horrors of _watching_ The Games. But no instead I am sent here, broken down into an emotional piece of blubber. And with that I just cried even harder.

"Sh… it's okay Catcat. I may not understand what you've gone through but don't forget I'm here." Soft, comforting, my dad's voice soothed me.

"Hey Dar, is that you?" another voice called out from the woods. _Oh great_, I thought, _Jakxon, just who I need while I'm in an emotional wreck._

"Catcat? Are you okay?" he questioned noticing me curled up in Darius' protective arm. Jakxon moved over to where we were sitting and wrapped his arm around me as well. "You can tell me everything too you know. And are those tears? Well I know just how to brighten your day," he smiled with a smirk. I was confused, how could he brighten my day? I looked over at him and realized what he was planning on doing. His face got closer to mine and I panicked, but yet I couldn't move my body at all.

Our lips were about to meet when a third voice called out from in the woods, "JAKXON! GET AWAY FROM MY CATNIP."

_A/N- Ugh. Now that was bad. Needed to get this out. I'm still open to ideas as well. Also if you guys want I can attempt to draw one of the scenes... ahem... this is unedited but once my beta (cloud-lover26) responds I'll update it. Feel free to review. _


	7. Fighting Chances

**Never Forget**

**Chapter 7- Fighting Chances**

"JAKXON, GET AWAY FROM MY CATNIP."

My head spun as Jakxon accidently pushed me away. Haymitch came barreling out of the forest, wearing a black eye and a bloodied lip. I immediately felt guilty but I stopped thinking about it when I heard the two of them fighting.

"You took her against her will and tried to-"

"I didn't do anything! She _wanted_ to kiss me! Did you see the look on her face when-" Jakxon shouted when he was interrupted by a punch to the face. I stared as Jakxon's cheek started bleeding. He touched it, bringing the blood on his fingers to his eyes. A look of resentment flashed upon his face and he took a step back. I sighed a breath of relief that the fight wouldn't continue, it's not that I don't like fights, it's just the fact that they were fighting over _me_.

But alas, I spoke too soon. Jakxon drew his fist back and shoved it into Haymitch's face, causing the skin around his mouth to rip open, blood spilling everywhere. Haymitch touched his busted lip, feeling the blood oozing out. Then once again, before I could do anything, Haymitch retaliated by kicking Jakxon's head. That was the last straw, Jakxon got back up and used all of his pent up aggression on Haymitch, turning it into a full out brawl. I stood there watching them, as the fight reminded me a bit too much of the Games I had just come out of. Trying to distract myself from the nightmares of the Arena, I looked around, trying to find something else to focus on. It was there where I saw another set of eyes watching me.

I almost jumped in shock when I first saw them, but feeling completely awful after that. I forgot about Dad. This could be my only time left with him and I am not spending it with him just because two guys were fighting over me! I quickly walked on over to him, hoping to spend a bit more time with him.

"Don't tell me you are going to start proclaiming your love to me too," I half-joked, hoping that he really didn't feel that way too, or things would get awkward fast.

"Nah," he replied, "I have another girl in mind, and I wouldn't want to get in between these two anyway, by the end of this I wouldn't be surprised if one of them has a broken arm."

"So do they do this, or fight in general, often? I could not help but noticing whenever I mentioned you two Haymitch would either quickly change the subject or look like he was about to kill someone. So did something happen to one of you? Or is it just those two?" I gestured to Haymitch and Jakxon rolling on the ground, using their longish hair to their advantage, and holding it and smashing their heads into the ground. It was rather comical I have to say.

"Well, about two or three years ago Haymitch was dating this girl Karon. She was pretty I guess, but Jakxon started hitting on her. Haymitch saw this and told Jakxon to back off but he would not listen and continued anyway. Haymitch got really pissed after that, and rightfully so, as he caught them kissing one day after school. Haymitch started beating up Jakxon, earning him a detention, and Karon ran away terrified and later broke up with him. Haymitch was devastated but she's not around anymore, I'd hate to have you struggle to win his attention." My face flushed as I heard that last comment fight to get his attention. Why would I want his attention to begin with?

"Why would Karon not be here anymore? What happened to her?" I asked him, trying to keep a calm composure and ignore what he said.

"Oh, well… she was the female tribute for the Games last year, she died in the bloodbath," he told me morosely. I was about to tell him how sorry I was and how I vaguely remembered her when the fighting pair of Haymitch and Jakxon barreled into us. I stepped back and looked at the two of them, bloodied up with bruises already forming on their faces. Haymitch took another swing at Jakxon and it made contact with his nose. Jakxon stumbled back, which gave Haymitch a satisfaction that he disabled Jakxon. Before he knew it, though, Jakxon came up from behind and brought Haymitch into a hold. I looked at the two of them and it immediately brought me back to a memory.

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><p><em>I stood atop the Cornucopia, arrow loaded and aimed, ready to shoot Cato. Blood was pouring down his face from what appeared to be a broken nose and a few missing teeth. He held Peeta in a way in which if he fell, Peeta would too. I looked over to Peeta and he nodded to me, I knew what I had to do. I repositioned the arrow and released it.<em>

* * *

><p>A flurry of skin and hair knocked me out of my flashback. I fell to the ground with the two boys on top of me. This annoyed me to no end, more than just them fighting in general. I stood up again and shook the dust off my pants. Walking up to the pair of them, I separated them enough to slap them both in the face. Haymitch turned to me shocked while Jakxon just held his face in his hand and muttered how that hurt.<p>

"You two really needed to stop that fighting, it was annoying me," I outright told them, "And I'm not absolutely sure the real reason you're fighting but resolve it now."

"Then choose someone," Haymitch muttered under his breath.

"What was that, Haymitch? I'm sorry, I just can't hear you all the way over here!" called out Darion.

I smirked realizing how my father was milking the situation. "Go on, say it so we all can hear, sweetie."

"Choose one of us! You can't be dating both of us at the same time,"

"I chose before, can't you two figure it out yourselves?"

"She obviously chose me, Haymitch. Didn't you see the way she was going to kiss me before you butt in?" Jakxon cut in, with a smirk directed towards him. Haymitch looked over to me for confirmation; I just gave him a pointed look and raised my eyebrow. His eyes widened in realization and then a small grin spread across his face.

"No, she chose me. Right Catnip?"

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><p><strong>AN I'm sorry! I am a bit of a huge procrastinator. Luckily, I ended on a cliff hanger, so I'll be able to write the next chapter. But after that... I'm not sure. So enjoy! And take the poll on my profile! And possibly review? And, if I don't post anything in 2 weeks, feel free to harass me until I do. Actually, please do so.**


	8. Alone

**Never Forget**_  
><em>

**Chapter 8- Alone**

_"Katniss! Katniss!" I heard Rue cry. I ran trying to get to her in time, but the space in front of me kept going on and on. I could hear her getting further and further away, I would not be able to reach her. She was going to die all alone, with no one to comfort her. _

_"RUE! HOLD ON, I'M COMING! PLEASE HOLD ON!" I cried out, somehow hoping that I would be able to save her that way. I knew it wouldn't work but I had to try. Her cries grew further in the distance, soon replaced by another voice._

_Prim. _

_Crying out as she had during the reaping. But this time, I couldn't save her. I was too far away. The forest was endless, it just continued on and on with the dark green trees standing there. This forest in which Prim was to be shipped off to and killed, like in a slaughterhouse, just because I couldn't reach her. _

_I started slowing down, realizing my efforts to save either of them were hopeless and combined with the exhaustion my entire body was shutting down. Unceremoniously I collapsed to the ground, wishing I had the strength to keep going, awaiting the never-ending blackness of unconsciousness that was sure to come. It didn't._

_I heard them before I first saw them, the low growl of their throats, the twigs crunching beneath their paws. My heart rate quickened. I couldn't face them again, not after I listened to the pleas of both Rue and Prim. _

_The mutts slowly circled around me, but I didn't look up. If I had to die by their hands, I didn't want to be reminded of the eyes that were taken from the dead tributes. Fully prepared to die I curled up and tried to ignore them when the first wave of the smell hit me. The awful smelling something was awful, like a billion cats rotting in one room together. I couldn't stand it anymore, I looked up. There the mutts were, just as I thought but they were carrying something, or someone. In their jaws were pieces of bloody meat but in one, with the eyes of Clove, was a head. A head covered in blonde hair. Cato's head._

_Looking around I noticed the pieces of his body that the other mutts were eating, one arm messily severed from the body and covered in blood, a leg that was torn to shreds from the mutt's powerful jaws. It was enough to make me sick. Slowly, I attempted to crawl away, unseen by the mutts but it was no use. Once I called attention to myself they were on me like a pack of wolves. _

_"No!" I cried out in pain. "Help! Please! Anyone..."_

"Catnip, Catnip! Wake up! Please!" Someone shouted in the distance. It wasn't Rue or Prim, the voice was one of a male. It took me a moment to realize that I was dreaming, and the voice was coming from outside my dream. I felt my body start to shake jerkily as my eyes flew open. Standing above me was Haymitch, with a sincere look of worry plastered onto his face.

"Are you alright? It sounded like you were having a rough nightmare. Do you need to talk about it?"

"I'm fine, I swear," I added seeing the look of doubt cross his face. In truth, I wasn't. I have had nightmares before of the Games but it now seems like they were getting worse.

They began a month after Haymitch's mom had died, first with Rue's death, over and over again. I would wake up with tears rolling down my face but nothing more. They then stopped for about two weeks, two weeks of sound, peaceful sleep. But then the mutts came.

The mutts were far worse than watching Rue die. Their eyes were still like they were before, with the eyes of the dead tributes, although this time they had their voices too. Shouting at me, growling at me, chasing me through the night. Running through the woods, I could hear them tearing up meat that looked like rotting flesh. Night after night they came, chasing me, tearing me up. I'd wake up panting and with phantom aches in my limbs, but no serious breakdowns.

"Catnip?" Haymitch asked again, startling me out of my trance.

"Hmmmm?" I responded, afraid that if I spoke the onslaught of tears building up would come pouring out of my eyes.

"Are you alright? You were shouting Rue over and over again, then whimpering as if someone had died."

Gathering up my courage, pushing back the tears I responded. "Uhhhh... I-I'm okay. Really. I'm just going to go take a walk," I muttered quickly, starting to stand up. Haymitch grabbed my shoulder and shoved me down before I could get anywhere.

"I just want you to know that you can talk to me-" he was interrupted when I stood up, trying to get away. The grip he had on my arm, which I had forgotten about, tightened and I was suddenly engulfed in a mess of limbs. I started to fight my way out but eventually gave up. Haymitch was too strong, and stubborn, for me to be able to escape. I felt helpless; there was nothing I was able to do.

"Catnip, you need to talk to me. I don't know what you are hiding but you're hiding something. I don't know what you're hiding but you're hiding something. It's obvious, you just can't hide the pain you're in well."

"No, please. It's fine, I swear. Please go away," I desperately whispered back. Why couldn't he see I didn't want his help?

"It's obviously not fine Catnip. You were _crying_. You don't cry! And if you wanted to be alone would be alone right now. I may be stronger but you've always been able to escape me before."

"What?" I asked, then to remember the other times I have escaped Haymitch's grasp. At that moment it had finally hit me, I don't want to be alone. I was alone while I was in the arena. I was alone in my dreams. I was alone when I arrived here. I don't have to be alone now. "Okay."

Haymitch looked confused for a minute wondering what 'okay' meant. I just placed my head down on his shoulder, ready to go back to sleep. The last thing I remember before drifting off was Haymitch's quiet response in my ear.

"Okay."

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><p>AN- Ummm... fluff is good. And I still have no ideas. But I updated! If you're extremely lucky (that is, if I can think of an idea...) I'll update sooner. So adios!


	9. Small Indulgences

**Never Forget- Mirabilem Electo**

**Chapter 9- Small Indulgences**

A few months after my last major breakdown, around mid-October, was when I first began realizing what the feelings in my stomach were. They weren't anything for me to be concerned about; it was just a peculiar feeling in my stomach. I would wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and Haymitch would come over and lie down next to me. More often than not I would feel the weird fluttering sensation before drifting off to sleep again.

It happened a few times during the day as well.

One time, sometime in November, I had just got home from hunting a bit in the woods and walked into the house. It was raining so I made my way into the bedroom to change out of my muddy clothes. On the way there I passed by the other bedroom, the door ajar. Curious I stuck my head in. There was Haymitch, his bare back facing me. I stared at it, his smooth, perfect skin and wanted to walk over and touch it. I stood there motionless until I realized I was staring. Haymitch walked over to the other side of the room and I quickly walked away, too freaked out to notice the feeling that was building up.

It began to happen more and more, without me really noticing. Then came December.

"Heeeeeeeeeeey. Catnip! Come over here, babe! You smokin' hot! I can't get my mind off you!" What was that? I turned my head to see Haymitch come stumbling into the house after a night of partying. I raised my eyebrow slightly; this was not the drunk Haymitch I was used to. So bubbly and uplifting, instead of the pain and loss that he tried to cover up but never quite managed to be able to.

"You are myyyyyyyyyyyyy life! I wouldn't know what I'd do without you! Maybe I would go and fall off a cliff!" At that he broke own into hysterics.

"Haymitch. Haymitch!" I yelled, attempting to gain his attention. "How drunk are you?"

"Not that drunk. I did manage to walk here, or maybe it was just the image of you beautiful face that dragged me over here."

"You really need to go to bed and sleep this off. There's no knowing what stupid-" my words were cut off as Haymitch pressed his lips to mine while pinning me to the wall. At first I stood there shocked, what the hell was Haymitch doing, but slowly something triggered in my mind. I began to realize that… I liked it. I slowly began kissing him back when I realized something else.

"Haymitch, you're drunk. I don't want to do this with you while your mind is taken over by alcohol. It's stupid"

"No it's not considering I'm not drunk," Haymitch blatantly stated.

"What."

"It was a trick you see. I would pretend to get drunk and make an excuse to kiss you and tell you how beautiful I see you. I just wasn't strong enough to do it myself so Darion and Jakxon helped me. It sort of worked too," he added with a wink.

"What," I repeated. I didn't believe it. It was obviously some trick. They must have picked up on my feelings which I guess were really obvious and made fun of them. There is no way this is real, I kept saying to myself.

"Yes it is, honey." Haymitch smirked. Wait- did I just say that out loud?

"You really shouldn't talk to yourself. They say that's a sign of insanity. I wouldn't like it if my love was insane."

Love. Love. I am not his love. We had kissed what- twice? That is not enough to be counted as his lover. He didn't really mean that- right? I already knew I liked him more than a friend but did I truly love him?

The answer to that is obvious. Even if I couldn't admit it to myself yet.

"Can we just get on with the kissing?" I responded calmly, even if I was flailing in my head. Haymitch grinned at that and leaned back into me, slowly pressing his soft lips into mine. I groaned in pleasure, these were nothing like my kisses with Peeta, they were slow and filled with passion, Haymitch nipping at my lip every so often. When he did that I would almost crumble with pleasure, but he wrapped his arms around me and held me closer to him, taking me off of the wall. Slowly, we broke apart, both gasping for air through our swollen lips.

"Well that was sure interesting. I didn't know you wanted to get into bed with me that quickly," he laughed.

"What? I wouldn't want to get int- oh." I stopped, noticing were my hands ended up after our nice kissing session. Half under his shirt, half into the back of his pants. Nice going Katniss. Putting your hands into the pants of Haymitch Abernathy. Haymitch Abernathy. Oh god. I suddenly realized, I was getting steamy with Haymitch Abernathy. My mentor. The person who helped me survive during the Games. It was just so wrong.

"No." I spoke. "No. No no no. I can't." Haymitch looked back at me, his eyes laced with concern and worry. What I was doing was wrong. Just so wrong. I thought I might have come to terms with the fact I was in the past, but this was just, not good. It was worse than that though. I couldn't deny that I enjoyed the kiss, I did, but there was still the thought that lingered in the back of my mind.

_He's your mentor._ I know but... You _look up to him in the Games._ Damn it brain! Why can't you let me have good things? _Because he's 25 years older than you. _The rational side of my brain supplied. I was officially going crazy.

"Catnip?" the concerned voice of Haymitch drifted over to me. "Are you alright? Never mind, I know you aren't. And if you say you are, you're lying." He's concerned about me lying? I've been lying since I've got here. Telling the truth now, not something I planned on doing anytime soon.

"No." Go away Haymitch.

"What? I didn't ask you a yes or no question." I stared at Haymitch, his face scrunching up into an adorable little face. I found myself grinning like an idiot at the sight of it. That proved it. I am mentally unstable.

"Sorry. It's just that I felt guilty after that. I had somewhat of a boyfriend back home. So that was quite awkward."

"So it was."

We sat in silence for a while, the sound of nothing echoing around the room. Haymitch dazed off into a spot on the wall across from us as I watched him. His blue shimmering eyes half open, the brown-blonde hair perfectly framing his face. Sunlight streamed through the window and landed on him, making the entire scene looking almost angelic. Suddenly Haymitch turned his head and grinned at me.

"Want to do something more than stare?"

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><p><em>AN- Oh god that was awful. Please tell me how to improve. Please. (I mean I got one review last time. Because I'd kill her if she didn't) Also- next update could possibly be in August. Or early July. Depending if I can type in the 16 hour car ride. Sooo... check out my profile for any other updates. Also any artwork is welcome._

_ME_


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